It is so loud in here...

When I am alone in this big old house like I am today, I find it so difficult to just concentrate.
Your memory is so loud and I can't help getting distracted by the sounds that I feel...in every room, you are there and I hear you, I see you and I know you are there because I feel you here

I hear you laughing over our morning coffee...
I hear your bed creak as you get up,  and the sound of your little freezer door opening and closing all day long as you take ice cream out to eat....and that guilty look on your face when I  walk in and you have the 5th or 6th one in your hand since morning....that look it speaks to me.

And the way your voice cracks when you try to complement my style when you know I am looking so funky...trying not to laugh you say instead that I look charming....

My phone it beeps though I no longer even have it but it has beeped from your texts for so long that I hear that in my head all the time, especially when I am here alone like today....just one more request you would say....maybe a sandwich or another cup of coffee or could you please let Jessie out? I wait for the sound of that text and maybe that's why I hear it...

Maybe its not how loud your memory has become at all, maybe it because it's just too quiet now and so I fill this space with the things that I know.... belong here.