Walking Around Naked

Two weeks ago, I was puttering around the house one evening with my camera in hand as always. Yes, I walk around my house with a camera around my neck. Now there was a time when I didn't a long time ago, when I first got it. (it wasn't that long ago) But I learned the hard way that I should always have it with me because everything good happens when you don't have it and that makes me so mad.
Anyway, back to my story...I was puttering around and decided to take some photographs of my fish, which I am not sure why I even bother because I have taken hundreds and have not one clear one to show for it. LOL They just don't sit still. So, there I am, snapping shots of my sucker fish BJ and all of a sudden I hear click, click,click oh shit!  And on the LCD screen comes the Canon death screen error 99. So I do what it says and take the battery out and reinsert it, knowing that everything would be fine, it had to be a glitch. Glitch my ass. My camera had died. Great.

So the next three days are spent online searching everything I could find on this error 99 and with each hour that passed my anxiety level was growing and by the 3rd day I was in a full on panic. LOL No kidding. How was I suppose to live without a camera? LOL Sounds dramatic maybe but that's how it was going down. I was seriously going through it because I just couldn't afford a new camera right now but life without one just didn't seem manageable. LOL

Thank God for Mothers, and I have two of them. :) My Mother and my other Mother gave me the money to buy a new one bless their beautiful souls. I think they worried about my condition without one. LOL Seriously though, I am so lucky.

Well, the new camera finally came today and let me tell you, this has been the longest damn two weeks of my life. I cannot believe how much photography is a part of me now. I mean, I didn't even want to go outside because I didn't want to see anything that I would want to photograph and then not have a camera. Every time the Cats would do something cute, I would tell them to stop it right now. LOL

And before you go thinking "Oh poor Jen had to go 2 weeks without a Canon, oooh" you need to know that there has been nothing in my lifetime that has captured my heart, my soul, my passion and my interest as long as Photography has. When I received my first Canon and lenses as a gift from Marven and my friend Brian it was the moment in my life where it all came together, I knew as soon as I held it in my hand that it belonged there. I remember that first night I had it, I was taking pictures of everything and I mean everything. I had my dear friend John De Bord on the phone instructing me on how to use it because you know, he is the best photographer in this whole wide world I just know it and so he knew what instructions to give. :) I remember trying out my speedlite and turning off every light in the house, I live in the mountains so that means it was dark, dark. I couldn't believe that I was taking photographs that looked like total day time in the dark. LOL  I was sooo excited, it's like a door just opened up for me and the possibilities were endless.

I hadn't realized though just how much my camera had become a part of me over these past years. I have felt naked without it. Not that I have a problem with being naked but it's that feeling of being bare without it. I spend my life lugging around a camera bag that feels heaver than a bowling ball with all my stuff in it. I don't leave it anywhere. And then it was gone. Wow.
I have had time to think about it all over these past two weeks  that I have spent in my room not wanting to see anything. LOL For the first time since I started all of this photography stuff, I really felt like a photographer, this is what it means to me. It's not just about taking pictures, it's about needing to take pictures.

Tonight as I loaded the firmware to my new Canon  and attached a lens, (she squeals) I felt at ease, anxiety was gone, I can face the word once again, thanks to my mothers. I love you both, thank you sooo much.